Gujrat - The Dry State
Ok I admit that I had a warning preview when I came to Gujrat for the first time for my studio tests and interviews, but nothing had me ready for the real thing. One early morning i'm fighting with my mom, next thing i've given my two weeks notice in office and the next thing I know, I'm on my way to Ahmedabad. I'm still pondering whether I made the right move to miss out on washing machines (which we do have, but doesnt help when your room is on the fourth floor) , mom's dosais for breakfast ,office gossip and most of all, my pay cheque at the end of every month. To people who have not been here, these are things that you need to be warned of when you step into this State (state)

- Everybody assumes you know Gujrati and speaks to you.
Solution: Firstly look around in all four directions and make sure the person is addressing you. Then in Hindi let them know that you dont understand Gujrati. Then with a lil help from the national language that you learnt for your boards and dumb charades skills you honed in college, get across your point to him/her.

- Its always 50degrees in the day
Solution : Get sunscreen, get an umbrella and digest the fact that you cant do much about getting darker. At the brighter side, you are atleast making best use of the bathroom here(you will slowly suffer to death if you do not bathe 4 times a day. but then whether you get cleaner or not is another debatable issue, considering there are pigs thriving in and around the Sabarmati all day- hey cheer up, they are white)

- Everybody spits pan
Solution: Same as above- carry an umbrella. If you forget to, then come back and have a shower! Ever wondered how Pan parag can make profits and pay for a zillion radio spots? Well they have gujratis to thank

- The sun sets at 8 o clock
Solution: Nothing available. You have longer working hours. And you mentally feel that you have more time for the 4 bathing sessions you need to have for survival

- Gujju food rules
Solution: Sign up for a gym, or find a life partner who wil love you through thick and fat and come to terms with your paunch, before you get to Gujarat.

- Everybody by default is expected to be friendly
Solution: Just call all the people bhaiya and behan and have a smile stuck on your face and people inspite of your broken hindi and virtually no gujrati, wil believe you are a local. Smile and tell the auto guy you wil not pay more than 7 bucks, which by the way is how much most auto rides cost, and trust me no one is gonna argue

- There are no traffic rules in Gujarat (Auto drivers dont have to worry about jumping red at signals, cos the govt. does not believe in installing them)
Solution: Get into autos that have old drivers. Sit near the rod and tie one end of the dupatta to the seat and the other to yourself. Tell the driver every 25 seconds, "bhaiyya dherae chalo". Have the plan of action and route for escape ready. Close your eyes thru the ride. Or take the risk and look at it as an adventure sport that came cheap (one trip at 7 INR) Enjoy!